Restarting the clock

102 days down the drain

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Suicide 

Someone I was in a psychiatric hospital with this time last year committed suicide a couple days. I’ll be honest with you I feel pretty numb. I loved this person at one point or what I thought was love. He made my stay at the hospital not so unbearable and even after I was still there and he got out, he still called me every day to check on me. 

He turned into a jerk after I got out, and turned back to the drugs he was addicted to previously but I still cared deeply about him. We slept together back in november and that was the last time I saw him in person. 

He texted me a few days ago to make sure I was happy and safe and tell me he was proud of me. 

I got a call from someone he knew, a family memeber or something idk they weren’t specific but they told me that he killed him self, that I was in his phone contacts, and they wanted me to know. 

So I don’t really feel anything right now. I cried all yesterday and then was angry all last night but today I just don’t feel a thing. 

Life update

So! Things are looking up. I told my family about being sexually assaulted and I’m getting professional help for it. Medication to help with anxiety and such.

Also! Boy #2 is officially and publically my boyfriend!! We had a long talk and figured all our shit out, and we’ve been together almost a month. 

In other news my entire city is under flood waters Bc of Hurricane Harvey so that’s but a big damper on things like school and finding a job. 

Otherwise, I’m really happy c: 

creepy people

I got a message today that freaked me out and I always wonder how people get my number but like (????) how do they do it. I don’t even know. I always think people are out to get me and maybe I’m right. Keep yourselves safe. I love you all please be careful.